Entry #4 When Mothers Are Human

Title: Holding Two Truths at Once

“ moment of stillness between mother and child.”

Mothers are also women and also human, and sometimes they can do selfish things. Would acknowledging that help one to understand and fix the resentment?

When we see our mothers only through the lens of “sacrifice, care, and duty,” we can feel betrayed when they act in ways that seem selfish. And yet, when we remind ourselves they are also individuals—with desires, fears, mistakes, and imperfections—it softens the sharpness of that betrayal. It doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior, but it explains it in a human way.

A mother can deeply love her children and still make choices that prioritize herself. In that way, recognizing this complexity allows you to hold two truths at once: she cared for me and she hurt me too. Accepting both reduces the pressure to resolve everything into “good mother” or “bad mother,” which is often where resentment festers.

At the same time, acknowledgment opens the door to compassion—for her, and for yourself. You may not agree with what she did, but seeing her as human makes it easier to process the pain without clinging as tightly to bitterness. This doesn’t mean you must excuse or forget—but it does mean you can move toward healing instead of staying locked in resentment.

And perhaps most importantly, acknowledging her humanity also helps you recognize your own. Just as she had limits and made choices, you are allowed to have boundaries and protect your wellbeing. Understanding her doesn’t mean absorbing all the consequences without care for yourself.

So back to the question: Yes, acknowledgment can help—but it’s only one step. Healing resentment often also needs space to feel the hurt fully, to set boundaries, and to decide what role that relationship should play in your present life.

“Perhaps the first step isn’t fixing—but simply seeing with gentler eyes.”